Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
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I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
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Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
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