I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize