Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
did i just pee glitter
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
