how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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