why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Randomize
