i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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