Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
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