the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
