i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
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