If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Watching her eat just hurts me
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
