i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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