CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
