we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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