I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
