She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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