Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
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