Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize