I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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