um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
