My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
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