that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize