grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
She said her name was "party"
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Randomize
