I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
jump out the window naked night went bad
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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