Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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