Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
