He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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