sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
