she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
