I'm eating all of the evidence.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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