Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
We had sex on a dog bed..
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
