Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Randomize