It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
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His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
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How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
i out mim tonsoeep
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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