I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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