I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
You are a genius and a whore.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
