Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
