I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Randomize
