I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
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I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
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I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
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