I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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