my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
