i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
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