I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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