He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
