Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
