I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
