By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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