Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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