Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
