its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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