My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
