I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
We left an ass print on the piano.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
