honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
