Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
