He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
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