It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
