mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
