Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
