Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
