If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Randomize
