highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
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We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
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if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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