I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
