i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Randomize
