I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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