I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
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