Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
