barbara walters just said penis...
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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