I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
