exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
