Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
